A Life Worth Living

            Some people think that calling someone an “innocent” name is some sort of entertainment, but deep down the names that are being said can actually hurt. Sadie Whitfield had first class experience with being bullied. She was bullied all through middle school and into high school before she killed herself.

            Sadie had amazingly vibrant red hair along with glasses that were cracked down the middle, and braces that covered her teeth. She was the smartest student in her sophomore class and was always nice to everyone, no matter how mean they were to her. She never had any real friends nor did she get invited to parties or on a date.

            She could deal with a little bullying here and there, but not every day. Everything changed on September 26, 1992. Sadie could remember that day like it was just yesterday. Ava Stockton started a rumor that ruined Sadie’s life. Ava said that Sadie was born a man, but got changed to a girl, because Sadie’s parents really wanted a daughter.

            Every day was like the one before. People pointing and laughing at her, people wore mustaches and paper penises on their pants. There were pictures of her as a man taped to every wall and on every locker for people to get a good laugh. The one thing that killed her more and more inside was the collage that was out on her locker, to remind her each and every day how much of a freak she was.

            The bullying and rumors just kept happening. Sadie tried and tried to hide herself, but they still found her. She skipped school for many days at a time and her grades started to slip. She turned to the “dark” side. She dressed in black and wore spikes. The bullying stopped for a while and she was able to fix her grades and still be number one in her class. She finished the school year with a bang and summer was her time to get away from all the bullying.

            Junior year started and Sadie was a new person. She dyed her hair blonde and got contacts. She only had a couple months left before she was able to get her braces off. No one knew who she was. She even changed her name to Savannah Shields. Within a couple of weeks, Sadie had a best friend, Raleigh, and a boyfriend, Jeremiah. But the fact that she was a fake was eating away at her. She knew she had to tell Raleigh and Jeremiah but she wasn’t ready to leave her life of love and friendship.         

            After half the year of considering this decision, she finally decided that she was going to finally tell them the truth.

            She sat down with Jeremiah the next day at lunch, “Jeremiah, I need to tell you something.”

            “And as do I.” Jeremiah said.

            “You can go first, then.”

            “Vannah, I love you.” Jeremiah said.

            There were tears forming in her eyes, but she knew she had to be strong. “Do you remember Sadie Whitfield?”  

            “Oh, yeah, that he-she? What about her?” Jeremiah asked.                         

            She reeled back like he had just slapped her in the face. She underestimated the degree of hate Jeremiah had for her. Not even a change in hair and name could differentiate the fact that she was still Sadie Whitfield.

            “I’m Sadie Whitfield, Jeremiah. I am.” She said and walked out of the cafeteria, waiting for the rumors to swirl.

            Sadie went through the same routine she did the year before. Stupid rumors were being spread, some from last year and brand new ones from this year. Jeremiah changed schools because people were saying he was gay for dating Sadie. Raleigh was teased for spending the night at Sadie’s house.

            Nothing hurt Sadie as much as that year had. She was teased and pushed. There was a time when Sadie said hi to one of her old partners and her boyfriend punched Sadie in the face. It broke her nose in two places. She had a huge, bulgy cast on her nose for six weeks. And, of course, that started even more rumors.

            Sadie couldn’t take it any longer, so she tried to talk to her parents about it, but they made it so Sadie couldn’t talk to anyone. Sadie tried to talk to her younger sister, Haiden, but she was afraid of getting the “ugly he-she” disease. She tried one last time to talk to someone; she went to her older brother, Carson and his wife, Marcy. They told her to just ignore them and throw herself into her school work.

            She tried to do what Carson and Marcy said, but the rumors and bullying just kept getting worse. She had enough of all the people turning against her. She knew there was only one way out; death. She planned everything out, nice and precise. She made sure that when she killed herself, it would not be painful, but extremely fast.

            She chose a day when she was going to consume four bottles of sleeping pills. She did it right before the last day of school, after all her finals and AP exams were over. She made sure that no one was in the house so no one could stop her. She walked into the bathroom and got the pills, she swallowed six pills in one gulp of water. At the rate she was going, all four bottles of pills were in her system within an hour. Sadie walked over to the tub and started the water. It was ice cold when she climbed in.

            It took at least an hour before she could feel her heart beat slowly to an almost stop. By the time anyone would notice she was gone, she would be dead and bully-free.

            “Sadie, honey, where are you?” her mom called.

            Sadie heard footsteps on the stairs and heard her mom open the door to the bathroom before she took her last breath. She heard a scream and sank to the bottom of the tub.

            The funeral was the hardest thing I ever had to plan, as a mother. I didn’t know Sadie was bullied, she never told me, so I thought. I know she tried to talk to me a few times, but I thought it was boy problems or something with school work.

            My husband and I reserved the Saint Mary’s church down the street and chose an Ash wood coffin for Sadie to be buried in. Augie, my husband, ordered lilacs, Sadie’s favorite flower, to put on her grave after she gets buried.

            The funeral was a breeze. Everyone said their goodbyes and some even confessed to bullying my daughter. Ava Stockton, the main person that bullied Sadie, confessed to starting all the rumors and said she was sorry for bullying Sadie into her grave.

            The funeral came to an end, but I still felt like I owed her something. Some sort of closure; some sort of movement to end bullying; something to make my daughter’s death something more than just pain.

             I was able to make the school my daughter attended to be bully-free and to make sure no one would have to go through what I had to or what my daughter had to go through. Bully-free lives means lives that will be fully lived.