This Kiss

I’ve never been the one to take long walks on the beach or go for a hike through the woods, but there’s just something about walking through the leaf covered trees, with the breeze flowing through my hair. Every day, well every bad day, I found myself making my way through the maze of the same old forest, finding new and incredible things. That is, until one day. That one day changed my life.

            I walked towards the small stream that separated the two sides of the forest. I heard a splash and then a cracking noise. I don’t know what made me go towards the noise, but I was curious. I mean, it could’ve been a murderer or a rapist or an animal. I don’t know where my bravery came from. I found the source of the noise; it wasn’t a murderer or rapist, no, it was a teenage boy around my age. Covered with freckles and light brown hair, he was attractive. But none of those looks compared to his eyes. I could see right through him. Just one look and I knew his entire life story.

            He climbed up onto a log and patted the spot next to him. “Would you like to join me?” He asked, and I obeyed.

            Needless to say, I never forgot that night. That night, I met my best friend. And my first love. Spencer Wayne. I watched as his heart was broken into pieces and I watched as he found love, a love that was never shared with me. I understand that I was never one of the skinniest or prettiest people at Manchester High, but I was the only one that really understood him.

            Every day after school, we would meet up in the woods, in the same exact spot and just talk. Everything was starting to make sense in this world, until one day, my senior year in high school. Spencer was having a hard day at school, something about a rumor going around about him having herpes, so he called me up to meet him in the woods. When I got there, he was disoriented and upset. I knew how to cheer him up, so I brought a picnic basket of KFC fried chicken and mashed potatoes with gravy. He took me by surprise when he thanked me with a kiss.

            “I-I don’t know what to say.” I said.

            “Good, don’t say anything.” He said, pushing me slowly down onto the wet ground, kissing me the entire way. He was on top of me for a few minutes, until it was time for him to undress me. “Is this okay, Lilah?” I didn’t say a word, because this is what I’ve longed for all my life, so I just nodded. He pulled off my pants and was swift, like he’s done this before. It was the most amazing night of my life. I was finally with the man I loved with no strings attached, so I thought. He finally loved every part of me for who I am. Every inch of me was felt by him, his love, and his affection. After it was all said and none, he didn’t just leave me there, he stayed with me while I cleaned myself up before I went home.

            “Spence, I love you.” I said.

            “Lilah . . .” He started, but I stopped him.

            “I know this wasn’t out of your love and affection for me, but that doesn’t mean I have different feelings about you,” I said. “But do not look me in the eyes and tell me that there isn’t something here between us. I know you, Spencer, and we’ve been friends for years. There is nothing you can hide.”

            “I don’t love you like you love me. You’re my best friend, I’d do anything for you, but what you think happened tonight is different than what actually happened.”

            “What was this, Spencer?” I said.

            “I was having an off day and I needed to be with someone,” He said. “You know, be with.”

            “I don’t know what happened to you, what happened to my best friend, because when I look at you, I don’t see him.” I turned around, pulling on my pants, and walked away.

            “Lilah, don’t do this. I’m still the same Spence as I was in eighth grade, the same Spence that stood up for you when people make fun of you.” He said.

             I laughed. “Sure, but you turned out to be the exact person I thought you’d never be.”