Sonas
The
thought never crossed my mind: that you could be happy with someone else. I
always had a plan for us, you see? It was you and me against the world. You and
me walking through gardens, crashing ridiculous weddings our friends invited us
to, and kissing under the moonlight. You were my happy ending turned tragedy.
I
see the pictures of you with her, and my heart shatters. We could have been so
happy, nothing but our shared life ahead of us.
The adventures we could have taken, the places we could have gone. You
promised me a trip back to London, a trip to Ireland. You promised me. You were
my stars on a clear night turned cloudy.
Knowing
that you’re happy with her should make me happy, yes? In all honesty, you were
supposed to be mine. Remember when we
first met? The crowded bus in the middle of London, you gave up your seat for
me. I promised myself that night that I
would make you mine. You were my knight in shining armor turned evil.
The
realization of this made me realize that you were never really mine. I never
actually had you. I never got the chance to have an amusement park date with
you, play monopoly with your family, go ice-skating at a park in London, have a
fancy dinner at an Italian restaurant, go horseback riding with your nephew, or
take a walk by the canal. You were my fantasy turned reality.
You
are a mere figment of my imagination. A picture on my wall. The background on
my phone. A pretty face I see on the telly every night. The one I dream about
frequently while I’m sleeping. The one that will never know I exist. The one
that will always have whatever is left of my heart. You were my heart turned
black hole.
