A little look into the Story I'm writing - Untitled

Prologue: Blair, 2009

Five minutes.

            In five minutes, you can run a mile. You can change your outfit, let the dog outside. In five minutes, you can microwave a frozen meal. You can shower, talk on the phone. In five minutes, your world can come together or fall apart. In five minutes, you can find out whether or not you’re bringing another life into the world.                        

            “Neil, I have something to tell you.” I sounded nervous.

            “What is it, love?” He asked, patting the seat next to him on the couch.

            “I don’t think you’re going to like what I’m about to tell you.” I whispered.

            “Blair, you know you can tell me anything.” He smiled.

            I took a deep breathe. “Neil, I’m pregnant.”

            I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone’s face drain of color so quickly. He stared at the wall, motionless. I waved my hand in front of his face but he didn’t move. He didn’t even blink. His beautiful blue eyes were glazed over, his perfect smile, gone.

            “Pregnant?” He finally asked.

            “Yes, pregnant. You know bun in the oven?” I said.

            “You can’t be pregnant. This isn’t happening.” He put his hands through his hair, pulling hard on the roots.

            “I am pregnant, and this is really happening.”

            “H-how did this happen?”

            “Well, when a man and a woman love each other–” I started but was interrupted.

            “Dammit, Blair, this isn’t a joke. This is my life. I can’t have a kid. I have another tour coming up soon, and another album. I don’t have time to take care of some kid.” He said.

            “This isn’t just about you, Neil.” I said. “Some kid? I think you mean, your kid.”  

            “Baby, you can’t possibly tell me you’re ready to be a mother. You have your whole life ahead of you; you don’t want a child to ruin it.” 

            “The only thing that is being ruined right now is you and me. I don’t know what you expect me to do, but I’m keeping this child, whether you’re in the picture or not.”

            “Blair, you can’t raise a child on your own. You don’t have the means to do so.” He said.

            “I may not have the means to raise this child, but I will love it with all of my heart. It will be loved.” I take a breath. “Neil, I need to know if you want to raise this child with me.”

            He takes his time answering me. I swear it felt like years before he spoke again. “I can’t give this all up. Not yet.”

            “Others have done it, you know.” I said.

            “Yeah, well I’m not other people, now am I?” 

            I nodded at him, trying to push the tears back that have threatened to pour. I went into the back of the hotel and packed my bags. I said good-bye to the boys, avoiding Neil at all costs, and walked out of the room. When safely in the elevator, I let a few tears slip, sliding down the wall onto my knees, thankful no one joined me.

            I cleaned my face up and pushed through the doors of the hotel, only to run into a pack of paparazzi. I saw flashes of light, heard the clicks of cameras and the screaming of fans. I looked around for a way out, a gap in between the crazy fans and the noisy paparazzi. I found nothing. Having nowhere to run and hide from the mess I just created, I stood there in hopes that Phil and the security team would come running out after me.

            “Are you and Neil dating?” The paparazzi joined in.

            The last few months with Neil have been the best months of my life. Every second he wasn’t working, we would be together, watching movies or just talking. When I was with him, my life made sense. The world had meaning, and I felt as if I belonged. But lately, it felt like we were drifting, and I knew it was time to go, time to let him move on to better and bigger things. I knew I was holding him back. And, then there was the pregnancy announcement. After that, I knew my time with Neil was no more.

            I decided to end both of our misery. “Neil and I, well, it was a fling. A fling I will probably never forget. Neil is a great guy and I hope nothing but the best for him and the band. But, please, I beg of you, don’t let this little fling affect the way you see him. Thank you.” I nodded at the paparazzi, and turned to walk away, only to see Neil standing behind me.

            “You heard that, didn’t you?” I asked him.

            “Every single word,” He said with no emotion.

            “Uh, well, I’ll be going now.” I gave him a smile and walked away from him. He didn’t try to stop me, instead he talked to the paparazzi.

            “Was it really a fling?” A fan asked.

            “It might have been for her, but for me, no.” He said, and I laughed.

            “You’ve got to be kidding me.” I said. Neil looked over at me with wide eyes. “Not a fling for you? I told you I loved you after our night together and you laughed. You laughed. In my face! I honestly thought you felt the same way about me. At least, it seemed that way. You used me for your own selfish needs, and you know it.”

            “Blair, not right now, please.” He said.

            “Don’t worry, I’m leaving. You won’t see us again.” I said, covering my mouth. Neil looked around to see if anyone caught my slip. No one seemed to notice. I looked at him one more time before walking out of his life, for what I hoped to be forever.